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May 17, 2005
My Own Private Black Dahlia
From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it. ~ Bette Davis
Many of my own personal fantasies often employ elements of competition with other female characters. I’m not sure if it stems from my family history of women not getting along with other women, but it’s been there as long as I can remember.
These women manifest themselves in many authority figure roles including “Mommy” and “Teacher.” In such fantasies I am compelled to try and get the better of them, or submit to them – to put my sexuality on the mat against theirs, or take whatever they dish out.
These fantasies can be simple or complex.
Simple Examples:
1. “Daddy” choses to come into my bed instead of “Mommy’s” and the female character is merely implied but not active.
2. I am held after class and forced to suck the cock of the teacher’s pet while she bullies and harasses and criticizes me with the both of them making fun of how inexperienced I am. While I gasp and gag, her role is very hands-on.
Complex Examples:
1. I am a neophyte prostitute who has unwittingly incurred the wrath of an older/wiser/jealous veteran prostitute who sabotages and sets me up for trouble such as being raped by clients, etc.
2. I am a new member to a harem who is the flavor-of-the-month for the male power figure in question. Incited by a ringleader, the other concubines all beset upon me and I am forced to service the other male/female slaves in punishment for being said flavor of the month (Roman and Turkish settings feature heavily in such fantasies).
I’ve told you, I’m a twisted little screw.
When the female character in question has a distinct role (Mommy / Aunt / Teacher / Headmistress, etc) their title becomes their name. But, in those cases where the female character is a peer, or person in a place of power over me without title, I have taken to naming that person “Dahlia.” I have no idea when this started. Probably in my early or pre-teens when I got on my serial killer kick and was first exposed to the Black Dahlia mystery.
Somehow in my mind this tragic woman took on a mystique of sexual energy and intrigue and her name seemed dark enough to embody these phantom women of my psyche. No matter who they are – courtesan or roommate or any of the other dozens of roles I cast them in, they are always ebony-haired plotting vixens named Dahlia. Sometimes I’m smarter than them, generally, I’m not. They are always more wicked and twisted than I could ever hope to be.
There is a Freudian wet dream somewhere in this regarding my inability to bond with most other females, but I’m tired of examining that particular part of myself. It doesn’t haunt me; I’ve incorporated it. It works for me.
Doxy's Lady Dahlia has been played in my mind by a good number of women. Remember the video for George Michael’s “Father Figure?” That woman had a long run through my teen years (I think it was the riding crop in the catwalk scene).
Famous women that have filled the role include: Lara Flynn Boyle, Bettie Page, Sherilyn Fenn, Famke Janssen, Linda Fiorentino, and Dita Von Teese. Every so often, I find a raven-haired cam model on the web and she takes over. I’d be very hesitant to name names and give examples because who knows if they’d take it as a compliment or not. Pretty women who expose themselves on the internet have enough to worry about without considering what they’re inspiring in my freaky head. I’d like to think they’d be amused and/or flattered, but I know that there’s a fine, fine line between flattering and creepy.
It also doesn’t appear to bother me if the model in question is generally a submissive or not. Maybe I somehow naturally see submissives as competition because they’re peers. Who knows where my subconscious gets this stuff.
Regardless, I’ve GOT to share my latest girl-crush.
“Alsana Sin” is so fucking Pretty in Pain it ought to be a crime. And she’s been doing time as my fantasy Dahlia for quite a while now.
If I’m a very good girl, and I do all my chores and eat my veggies, can I have her, please?
Please?
Doxy
Naughty Bits by Doxy at 06:19 AM | permalink | talkback (0)
